Can't believe it is October already, this year has gone by so fast, it is actually kind of scary!
Since my last blog post in June, a lot has happened in my little life.

Life Update...

In August, I got married to the love of my life. My wedding day was the most amazing day of my life so far. My little sister was my head bridesmaid, and I had two other bridesmaids - two of my best friends, Amber and Rachel. All the bridesmaids looked so beautiful! I walked down the aisle in the church to David Garrett's violin instrumental version of November Rain, I remember everyone looking at me but all that mattered was getting to my husband-to-be. We had gone, practically, two days without seeing each other, which was so hard to get through, but we did it, knowing that it would be worth it. After the ceremony, which was beautiful, the day seemed to fly by! The food was gorgeous, especially the chocolate brownie which I had for desert. The speeches were also lovely, especially the one my husband gave. Our first dance was to 'our song' which is I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith.

 

 

At the beginning of September, I started sixth form. I had chosen Psychology, Health & Social Care and Religious Studies AS levels, and I had to re-take my Maths GCSE since the first time round I was too poorly to take the GCSE. Sadly, at the end of September, I had to drop out of sixth form. I had only managed a week and a half, although this wasn't full days, this was between 2-4 hours a day. Although this was way too much for me and my silly health. Everyday after sixth form, I would come home without any energy, although I hardly had any to begin with, but would still have lots of homework to do. As well as the energy levels getting worse, it also made pain levels shoot up higher and other symptoms got worse because of this. So, despite having to drop out of sixth form being a hard and sad decision to make, it was also a relief, not have the pressure to attend and to do the work anymore.

 

 

Health Update...

 

July was a rough month with my health. In June, I started to experience awful pelvic cramps, and in July they got much worse. Which resulted in trips to out of hours doctors, a trip to A&E and to the doctors surgery. We didn't get any relief, and it was driving us crazy. My poor mum, who is also very poorly, was amazing, although it was tiring her out. After all these doctors appointments, and a phone call to the doctor, I got sent for a pelvic scan which I had in either late August or early September, I can't quite remember, although it was clear and didn't show any abnormalities which meant no answers for Sophie. :(

After my pelvic scan, I saw a different GP, who gave me a working diagnosis of endometriosis. I was glad to have an answer, but I have to have a laparoscopy before this is 100% confirmed.

 

 



Since September, I have had countless doctors and hospital appointments, which have luckily come to a stand still for now, unless the next lot come in. Currently, I am waiting for a date for an endoscopy to come through in the post. I am very scared about this as it sounds horrid, but I am hoping that it will help the doctors to find out what is causing the constant nausea that I have had for the last year. This nausea has been horrendous at times, and caused me to practically stop eating for a couple of weeks. And even though I tried countless anti-sickness medications, none of them helped. Everyday, I am experiencing nausea, some days mild and others severe. With the flare up I had recently, which caused my eating to deteriorate and practically stop, it was very severe and my appetite decreased massively.

 

As well as all of this, pain has gotten much worse, along with constant feeling of faint and loads of other nasty symptoms playing up.

 

 

Right now I will shut up ;)

 

Thank you for reading my blog post! :)

I want to say a HUGE thank you to my Mum who has been my rock over these last, very hard (health wise), 4 months. She has taken me to every single appointment, and been with me through everything. My mum truly is the most amazing woman on earth, and I am so blessed to have her. Despite her health troubles, she is always there, by my side, helping me through everything. I love her dearly!

 

And I want to thank my husband, for always being there for me, and even though we have only been together 4 years, he always supports me, and looks after me. Most 18 year old boys are out with their friends, getting drunk, but my husband is with me, looking after me and being an amazing husband.

 

As well as both my mum and husband being amazing, I want to say thank you to my beautiful little sister, who never fails to make me smile and laugh even though she is very poorly too.

 

Anyway, until next time ... BYEEE!! *wave* ;)  S



 

Carers Awareness Week, 10th-16th June - My carer, my Mummy.

This week is Carers Awareness Week. 

Due to being affected by M.E, I need a carer, and have had to have a carer throughout the whole 10 years I've been poorly. My carer is my mummy, and has been throughout the whole time I have been suffering with M.E. 

My mummy is called Louise, she is not only my mummy but she is also my carer, and my best friend. My mummy is truly amazing and wonderful. Throughout these 10 years, she has had to care for me from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed. When I have been at my worst, she has had to help me bathe, dress, eat and even brush my hair and clean my teeth. 

My mummy is my inspiration because she is very unwell herself, she suffers from the auto-immune condition called lupus and she still manages to look after me constantly, despite feeling poorly all of the time herself. 

She is the most fantastic woman I know, always smiling and her inner beauty radiates through her making her appearance even more gorgeous. She is my guardian angel, sent from Heaven to look after me and to make the world a better place. She also gives the best advice, I absolutely love spending time with her and making new memories. Especially, I love curling up on the sofa watching horror movies with my mummy Lou.

I just want to let everyone know how amazing my mummy is and let everyone know how much I love her. 

My mummy is my hero, and my idol. She is my role model, I wish I was as brave as she is, because she is the bravest person I know and I am SO blessed that she is my mummy and my carer. I am the luckiest girl in the world that she is my mummy. She is the most understanding, kindest and most generous person I know. And she is ALWAYS there for me, no matter what. She is also the strongest woman I know, if there were awards given out to the strongest people in the world, my mum would definitely be #1. 

I could go on with a list of things about my mummy, and of reasons why she is amazing, but then it would take up hours and hours of time. 

Mummy Louise, I love you with all my heart and thank you for everything. Thank you for being the best carer ever and thanks for looking after me always. Thanks for being the best mummy ever. 

Mummy, I love you. 

Please raise awareness for carers, they are truly amazing and when you have a chronic illness you rely on them every minute of everyday. I don't know what I would've done without my mum through this rollercoaster of an illness.

Byeeeee...  S  xxx

Friendy-pops. :3

Heya c:

Just wanted to post a blog post that was dedicated to my friends.

Firstly, I wanted to say to one of my best friends Issy Nicole that I am so proud of her for taking her exams despite being poorly. I think that is so amazing and inspirational of her.  I am also really proud of Alicia Gill for taking her university exams despite being really unwell at the moment. Think that is amazing of her. She is truly inspiring. Also, Katie Moore ... I am SO unbelievably proud of you for taking your GCSEs. That is so super awesome, you are wonderful. And Sophie Lynch, I am SOOOO proud of you for doing your law course and for taking your exams. You are truly inspiring and awesome and amazing.

Secondly, I wanted to say to a few of my friends who are really struggling with health right now - Rachel Hampshire, Rosie Cocks, Alice Wright, Merryn Crofts, Jodie Osbourne, Dannie Larkin, Alex Bliss, Laura Ann Dunks, Laura Jane, Katie Moore, Rosie Powlesland, Sophie Lynch, Becca Harrington, Polly Bayes, Abbeigh Harris, Kate Stanforth, Issy Nicole, Lizzy Horn & Manda Panda - that I really hope that things improve for you all soon. You really don't deserve any of this. Wish I could make things better for you. None of you should be having to go through any of this, but I am always here for you and I always will be. Stay strong you beautiful people. Love you all, you amazing brave souls.

Thirdly, I wanted to say to Sophie Lees that I am so proud of all that she achieved on her birthday this year, I think she is truly amazing. Well done babes! So happy for you. 

Fourth, I wanted to say to my amazing Mummy Louise and little sister, Phoebe, I hope that they both feel better soon. They are both so wonderful and they are SO brave. They always manage to amaze me with their bravery and strength. I love you both millions. 

Lastly, I wanted to say to Kate Stanforth, Danielle Wilson and Katie Larvin I am so proud of you all for doing the sponsored zip wire to raise money for AYME! So brave of you all, and I am so happy that you all managed to do it. 

TTFN - Ta Ta For Now :) *wave* <3 S <3

Hi there ya'll :)

So today, I am going to tell you all about the achievements I have made this week.

Thursday morning I went for a picnic in the park with my Mum, Nan and sister, and me and Phoebe went on the swings in the park and took so photos of us messing about, it was great fun! On Thursday evening, I went out to a gig with my fiance and his work mates, we saw Temperance Movement which were really good.

Saturday I saw my best friend Rachel and we watched Pitch Perfect, chatted and had presents. She spoilt me rotten which was so kind of her. Also went for a meal with my family and grandparents and uncle.

Sunday (today) I went to the New Look with my Mum and had a Pepsi Max in Costa Coffee, which was really nice. I got 3 pairs of earrings and a top, and I brought Mum some shoes. It was lovely. After this we went for a drive.

Other than this, I've been resting and taking it easy since I've been feeling a lot worse and symptoms have been getting worse.

I've started watching some awesome TV programmes, and spent lots of time with my sister, and my mum.

Anyway, so thats about it for today's blog post. Apart from that I am thinking of my gorgeous Mummy who is feeling really unwell at the moment, really hope she feels better soon. I love her masses and she is so inspirational and amazing, she never fails to make me smile.

Also that I am hoping that the beautiful Kelly Fricke feels much better soon, she is in hospital at the moment, she is so brave and lovely. Thinking of you honey.

S   xx

My M.E Story

Well, hey there, my readers – if I have any ;)

Since it is M.E awareness week next week, I thought I would blog about my story with M.E. And tell the world a bit about what I’ve been through the past 10 years. I want to give people, who aren’t unwell with this awful illness, an insight to how awful it is.

I’ll try to remember as much as I can, as a lot of my journey is a little bit hazy.

Diagnosis:  So, I first got unwell when I was 7. I was unwell with virus, after virus. Due to this, I had to go to lots of doctor’s appointments with my Mummy. They told us that it was just a virus, and it would get better; although things didn’t get better. After, what it seemed like centuries, they referred us to the hospital for tests to try to get to the bottom of what was going on. At this point, I was aged 8.

Finally, we got an appointment through in the post, and relief flooded over us all that we would hopefully be getting to the bottom of what was going on with me. I remember waiting in the waiting room at the hospital, terrified. I was with my mum and dad, and they were both comforting me, yet they were both worried too. I remember the walls were yellow, with stickers all over them – lots of Winnie the Pooh stickers.

The doctor I saw had grey short curly hair, and he was tall, but then most people were tall to me, I was only 8. I remember I had to have a swab done – which I hated, I remember screaming and panicking LOTS. As well as lots of blood tests, on the plus side from having blood tests I got a Harry Potter pencil case set for being brave! :)

We had to wait a little while for the results, which felt like a lifetime, with me not making any improvements. Finally we got the results back saying I had Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. We had no idea what this illness was, and the name was pretty daunting – it sounds so complicated and confusing.

In between now & then: After this point, I can’t remember much. I remember being in denial about having M.E for a long time. Refusing to find out anything about it, and not wanting to talk about it. I remember that I had to stop going to school full time and only attend part time. At one point, I could only go in to school for lunch times and had to use a wheelchair. This was hard as I was only in Primary school, and no-one really understood. But then again, I didn’t understand myself.

Throughout primary school, I had home tutors a few days a week to help me with what I was missing at school. I was unable to sit my SATs at primary school due to not being well enough.

When I started secondary school, I was able to attend year 7 and 8 part time, luckily without my wheelchair, which was fab. But because of only being able to attend part time, I didn’t really have any friends, only a couple. This was hard, as I would see everyone else around school with loads of friends, when I hardly had anyone. When I was hanging out with anyone I would feel like I was a nuisance and that I was imposing on them.

Year 9 came around and I was only about to attend school a couple of hours a day, which was hard, but I still managed to enjoy my lessons. When I was 13, at the end of year 8, I got with my boyfriend, Luke. So throughout year 9, when I was able to attend break or lunch times, I would hang about with him and his friends, without feeling like an imposter. We had loads of fun and laughs and this really cheered me up. In year 9, despite only being able to do a very short amount of time at school, I still managed to sit my English Language and English Literature GCSEs two years early, getting a B in both of them, which I was so proud of. This year, I managed to go on holiday to Greece with my boyfriend and his family and I also managed to go to Devon with my family and my boyfriend. These were two amazing experiences.

Half way through year 10, I had a bad relapse, due to the pressure of GCSE coursework. It started with vertigo, and then all my symptoms got dramatically worse. This left me unable to go to school, but I was still determined to do my school work from home. In the summer of this year, my boyfriend, Luke proposed to me! This was the highlight of my year.

Throughout year 11, I couldn’t attend school at all, and when I had to go in after the school day had ended to do practical’s for science or meet with teachers, I had to use my wheelchair and have either my fiancé or mum come with me to help me. I missed all my lessons and had to have all the work I was missing emailed to me by my teachers so I was able to work from home. I did all the work from home myself, without help; apart from Maths, which I had a tutor for. I was too poorly to go into school to sit my GCSEs, so I had to do them at home. I was only able to take one GCSE exam which was Child Development – my favourite subject. I was able to complete my science BTEC coursework which was classed as another GCSE. I was meant to be doing my Maths GCSE but after taking my Child Development GCSE I was too poorly to take it, this meant I had to defer it for another year.

After this my health continued to get worse, and I could only go out about once a week with my wheelchair, and I couldn’t go out on my own or with my friends, like normal teenagers.  My family were unable to go on holiday that summer as my health was too bad, and I couldn’t manage it. Which I felt really guilty about, although there was nothing I could do to help this, apart from apologise, but they understood.

September of 2012 came, when I was meant to start sixth form, but I wasn’t well enough. My mum had to call the sixth form and talk to the head of sixth form, and I had to defer starting sixth form until September 2013. I felt like a failure but I knew my health couldn’t take the pressures of A-Levels, or any education.

Now: Now, it is May 2013, and I am plodding along in my own little way. I am no longer using my wheelchair, which is FAB! I hate using my wheelchair, and I am going to try never to go back to using it, no matter how bad I get. I am proud of myself for getting out of my wheelchair. I manage to walk round the shops now, as long as I have support and get to sit down half way through the outing. Outings are usually only a couple of hours, but this is amazing, I love being able to be out, even though they completely drain me and afterwards I need to go to bed for a couple of hours. My symptoms have all gotten worse, and I’m still suffering with depression, and anxiety. Luckily, my anxiety has improved a bit which I am so glad about, as I hate it. I usually have to take a nap in the afternoons, and sleep until 9.30-10am, because I cannot sleep until the early hours of the morning, usually between 1-4am, depending on the severity of pain and nausea.

My worst symptoms are pain which affects every single part of my body, extreme constant nausea, awful stomach cramps, weakness, feeling constantly faint, feeling shaky inside of my body and feeling fuzzy in my head. Also, headaches, sore throats, painful glands, sore skin and back ache. That is only some of my symptoms.

Currently, I am undergoing tests for lupus as the doctors and my rheumatologist think that it is a possibility that I have it. I just want to get to the bottom of this, and find out what is going on. I have had numerous blood tests, an ultrasound and urine tests, as well as examinations. All such fun ;)

I am currently getting very excited for my wedding, which is on the 17^th August this year. Almost all the planning has been done, which is amazing. Can’t believe I’m getting married this year. My gorgeous little sister is being my maid of honour, and my best friend with M.E is being a bridesmaid, as well as my best friend from primary school who is still one of my best friends.

Me and my fiancé, Luke have been together 4 years next month, I can’t believe how fast this time has gone, feels like we’ve only been together a month.

I started a college course on counselling skills which is only 11 weeks, although I’ve only been able to manage the first week so far, and have had to miss the last two weeks due to feeling to  too unwell. Hoping I will be able to attend next week’s lesson, fingers crossed.

Positives:  Despite this awful journey with this terrible illness, I have some positives from it. I managed to get an A in my Child Development GCSE, despite taking it at home and through teaching myself. And I also managed to achieve a C in Science BTEC.

Through having M.E, I met my fiancé, and if it wasn’t for being poorly I’d never have known him and wouldn’t be with him now, and wouldn’t be getting married in 3 months’ time. I am so glad I met him, and got with him. I love him millions and am so lucky that he is my fiancé, he is amazing and takes great care of me. He is my best friend. :)

I have gotten so much closer to my little sister, Phoebe, who also has M.E. We’ve helped each other through these tough times, and have gotten closer. We spend loads of time together, watching TV together and cuddling. She is my best friend and she is so inspirational. I love her with all my heart.

I’ve gotten closer to my mummy, who has been the most AMAZING carer ever! Despite her not being well herself, she has been the best ever. She is always there for me, always supports me. She has even had to help me get dressed and bathed when I was at my very worst. She is so patient, and understanding.  We have amazing memories together, and she is my role model and my idol. My Mummy is also my best friend, who I love so much, it’s unbelievable. Thank you for everything you do for me Mummy, and for everything you have done for me. I appreciate it so much, even if I don’t always show it.

I’ve made my best friends, who also have M.E. . . Rachel Hampshire, Jodie Osborne, Katie Moore, Issy Nicole, Polly Bayes, Dannie Larkin, Alice Wright and Sophie Lynch. 

I’ve gotten close to loads of other people with M.E who are amazing and so brave. I want to thank you for always being there for me.  I also want to thank Alex Bliss, Sarah Louise Feather, Hannah Wallace, Laura Ann Dunks, Laura Jane, Adele Swaisland, Tori, Giorgia Nyman, Rachel Rawlings, Rosie Powlesland, Lizzy Horn, Sophie Lees, Becca Harrington, Kate Stanforth, Jess Billage and Rachel Guard for being amazing; they are some of my closest friends.

I want to thank my best friends who haven’t got M.E for being there for me and for being great – Kimmy Wogan, Amber Takle-Webb, Vicky Mills, Sarah Stuart and Shelbie Brown.  

If it wasn’t for me having M.E, I never would’ve met Kelly Fricke, who’s videos I watch on YouTube, she is so super brave and supportive. She goes through so much, yet is always there for other people. I am blessed to know her.

To my mum, dad, sister, fiancé, brother, nan and best friends… I want to thank you for everything you do for me and have done for me, it means the world to me and I can’t do enough to repay you. Thank you, I love you so much and you are all amazing, kindhearted, selfless souls who I am so proud to know and so blessed to have as my family. <3

Well, that’s it, that’s my story. Hope I didn’t bore you too much, hehe. Love to you all. And sending spoons to any spoonies reading this.

S x

Update - 04/2013

You know what they say, when you can't sleep, blog. ;)

This is just a general update about moi hehe.

Well, I managed a full afternoon of college on Wednesday!!! :D First time of managing to attend any type of education in 3 years!! So it was an amazing achievement!! I am doing counselling skills level 2 course, and I go with my lovely friend Tori. :) The course I am doing is 10 weeks long, and it includes an hour long exam, a practical assessment and 1,500 word assignment. Its only once a week, for a whole afternoon. Only been one week so far, but really enjoying it.

I managed to go out for lunch today (19th April), and managed a little look round a few shops. I brought a lovely hair bow, and had a yummy jacket potato with cheese and red onion marmalade in it! Was delicious.

This weekend my fiance is going to be 18!! :D Can't believe I've been with him since he was 14!! Time goes so quickly. I love him very much.

I've become addicted to The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I love Amy & Ricky the best, but also love Adrien & Ben.

Music wise, I have a new love for 3 Days Grace, Rosi Golan and Olin and the Moon.

My health isn't good still, symptoms seem to keep getting worse but am keeping a smile upon my face and trying to continue having fun.

I went to the Children's hospital last week, and had to have an utlrasound of my ankle done, and more blood tests for my rheumatologist who is trying to figure out if I have lupus or whatever. Haha. All gets a bit confusing ;)

Thats about it, nothing much else happening in the life of me. :P

To any of you who are suffering, hope that things improve for you and that you all keep fighting.
And to my mummy, sister & fiance, daddy, brother, nanny and my best friends, I just want to say thanks for always being there for me. Means the world to me.

So thats all for now. Take care.

S 
xoxox.

Looking on the brightside of life! :)

Hey all - I know i've already done one blog today, but this one is about me :)

I have been achieving some great things recently, despite feeling worse. I have finally learnt to enjoy things and do things no matter how poorly I'm feeling because I'm going to be just as poorly if I'm at home in bed or if I am out having fun! And out having fun is much nicer! :)

So thinking back a couple weeks...
I managed to see Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters at the cinema with my lovely Mummy! And we had Ben & Jerry's create your own core ice-creams! Which were super nice, and the movie was amazing! LOVED IT! <3
I've been out for tea a couple of times with my fiance which was really lovely... Each time I had my favourite - Chicken hot rocks with onion rings and chips! I also managed to go out for lunch with my fiance! Which was lovely.
I tried a big doughy pretzel for the first time ever! It was delicious and was covered in Nutella spread! NOM! :D
I managed to go for a little walk around New Look and Boots with my lovely Mumma.
I went to a party and even managed a little dance! :) This is a BIG acheivement.

I've had some lovely times recently. And don't get me wrong, I am feeling awful all the time, and I get payback from having fun, but I am making lots of lovely memories. You only live once, right?
I have days which are just spent in bed but not many, I am trying to stay strong and be brave! And live my life as much as I can!

Thanks for all the support from all my family, fiance and friends. (Especially from my mama - Love you mama!<3)